um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize