when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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