Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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