How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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