It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
