He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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