maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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