You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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