Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There r osticjed everywhere
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize