Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
