oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
