he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
