white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
