The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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