Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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