Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
