sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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