I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
