We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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