You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize