I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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