Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
