if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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