Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
