Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
