We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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