just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
