No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
