I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
