i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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