I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
