i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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