so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize