I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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