hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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