erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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