it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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