Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
