just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
