there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Randomize