you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
