I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
