yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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