what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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