just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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