I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
