he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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