Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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