forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
