I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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