dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
