fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
