Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
