Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
