but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
