Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
