i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
