I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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