Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
