kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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