marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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