maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My bed smells like the plague
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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