worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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