So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sobbing to NWA
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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