You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
