he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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