so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
