Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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