You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
