Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize