I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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