I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
